


Warden Wrath Tries to Woo a Witch

by mandaree1



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Eda being a gremlin in general, F/M, Luz and King being supportive in their own gremlin ways, Rigging bets for romantic purposes, Set after the season 1 finale, This entire fic is basically Wrath tries to understand wild witches and fails
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26318248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandaree1/pseuds/mandaree1
Summary: Eda shows up in Wrath's office to dare him to go out with her. This is normal courting somehow.
Relationships: Eda Clawthorne/Warden Wrath (The Owl House)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	Warden Wrath Tries to Woo a Witch

"Heard you drew my kid a map."

Warden Wrath did not startle gently. He startled like a griffin did when it saw a mouse- horror and hunger. The cup of coffee in his hands went flying as a fury of tentacles slammed into the wall and desk, just barely avoiding the woman sitting in his chair.

Eda raised an eyebrow. She seemed more amused than anything else, which was not exactly the kind of image a warden should present, especially to a felon. He should probably work on that.

"Owl Lady?" he puffed out, jaw dropping. He took a moment to restrain himself again, straightening his coat with a small cough. "Er, yes, well. She _did_ have me in a hold."

"My student might be one tough cookie, but I know you can rip up some _vines._ " Eda snorted, then gestured to the front of what was technically his desk, but he supposed it was hers while her shoes were up on it. Nine-tenths of the law or whatever. "Take a seat, Warden. I don't bite. 'Less you cuff me. Then that's on you."

It should be embarrassing, pulling up a little plastic chair to what is Warden Wrath's desk, but somehow he feels relieved. He squished his butt down into it and adjusted his plague mask.

"You shouldn't be here," he said. "This is a felony."

"Good," Eda said.

"Like, very much highly illegal."

"Even better."

"I'm starting to think you want to go to jail."

Eda leaned forward a bit. "Can't a girl come say thank you? You saved me'n Luz a lot of time." She ruffled around in her pockets, pulling out a coin. "Question is, _how_ do I thank you?"

He tried not to feel too disappointed. A human coin didn't even translate to a full snail. Also, it was illegal. There was that. He would probably just have to throw it into contraband. "Ah. Yes. A trophy. I will... treasure it?"

"This isn't the actual gift, dummy." Eda scowled, as if offended by the mere concept. "How's about a little bet? Heads or tails. Tails, you can arrest me. Heads... you go on a date with me."

Warden Wrath can't exactly do a spit-take as is, but he sure does attempt to. A sort of hissing, spitting noise leaves his maw in surprise as he lurches forward, clutching the desk in a firm hand.

That only seemed to make Eda even less happy, which isn't the plan- though that implies he ever had a plan. "I know I'm a little unconventional, but you don't gotta act like I just cast a curse on you. Sheesh."

"I didn't mean it like that." he said, each word like pulling teeth. Wrath hadn't been on a date in a long time- and he'd never been asked on one before on a dare, either. "Why?"

She opened her mouth to rebuke him, then reconsidered and shrugged. "I need a night out, and you seem alright. I mean, if you pull any of that nice guy crap again I'll personally throw you off a cliff, but when you're just doing your job you seem... decent." It was the nicest thing someone had said about him in a very long time, but before he could consider just how pathetic that was she leaned back again, coin at the ready. "Upsie-daisy!"

Tentacles snatched the coin out of the air before it could land. Part of it was instinct. Most of it was a hunch. Eda pouted while he slowly turned it over. It was thicker than most coins he'd seen. It also had two heads. "Did you... glue two coins together?"

"You didn't think I'd play a bet like that square, did you?" Eda laughed; and when she laughed she snorted, and Warden Wrath found that undeniably adorable. "What kinda criminal you take me for, Wrath?"

* * *

They don't meet at her house, of course. The Owl House will remain a secret to him for a long time, perhaps forever, and for the sake of his job it's probably for the best. Warden Wrath wore his best tunic- which, looking at it now, kind of had the same green of swamp water.

Regardless! It made his plague mask look spiffy, so he'll take it.

The location is this tiny pond that Eda claims is near her home, but she honestly could be messing with him at this point. The only reason he's sure she'll come is because her human and the pet are there when he arrives, doodling away at a notebook in the sand.

The pet looked him up and down and scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Why can't she just pick a bad boy and settle down? It's always gotta be these nice guy jerks."

"He does fulfil a lot of very specific things fanfiction has taught me certain people like," the human said without looking up. She waved at him. "Hiya, weird warden guy!"

"Human," he replied, hoping that would suffice.

"Don't forget to tip your server and ask before holding hands."

"AND SMITE YOUR ENEMIES!"

Out of the woods came Eda. Her dress was just as raggedy, and just as wild, but it was a soft purple color. She flicked the demon between the horns. "Oh, we'll be making plentya those tonight."

"Owl Lady," he said, mildly. "I've come to take you to dinner. Not to commit crime."

"Then you came from the wrong kind of hijinks, my man." She did a twirl. "I don't get this dolled up for some half-price salad."

Warden Wrath shrugged. "I'll take what I can get."

"I can work with that!" Eda broke through multiple personal space bubbles to grab his hand and pull him close, his chest to hers. It occurred to him, in the non-panicking part of his mind, that she hadn't asked first. The human probably wouldn't like that. "Howzabout it, Wrath? You ready to get your tentacles dirty?"

Luz coughed pointedly into her fist, and if Warden Wrath hadn't been caught in Eda's eyes he might've responded.

"Is this okay?" she asked, but her smile told him she'd already decided it was. "Not too much of a straight edge to take me to an art museum and get kicked out, are ya?"

When she puts it like that... Warden Wrath swallowed, unwilling to step back from the challenge. He didn't exactly expect safe, logical, or legal from the Owl Lady. He never had. But it was a bit bold of her to just say it out loud? To him, an actual warden? Was she trying to scare him off, test his limits, or did she simply not want to go at all, and was hoping all this crime talk would make him leave?

The twinkle in her eyes was hopeful, if a bit wary, and he felt his confidence bolster. If she didn't want him here, she'd say so. This _was_ the same lady who'd spat in his face a month prior, after all. "I'm ready if you are."

Her smile went crooked, and he knew he'd chosen right. "Atta boy. Luz, you're in charge tonight. Mama's got a long night planned."

"EW," said King, snapping the book closed. "C'mon, Luz, let's go do something wholesome. Like pick locks!"

The human stood and waved. "Goodnight, Eda! Have fun! If Wrath is a meanie lemme know and I'll eviscerate him! Love you!"

Wrath let himself be led away, the Owl Lady giving a quick wave over her shoulder. Eda curled a claw-tipped hand around his elbow and whistled while she walked, very much the cat with the canary.

"She's sweet," he said finally. "But terrifying."

"Best kinda sweet to be." She gave his side a solid push. "She's a bit weird, but she's the best thing in my life. Changed me right up. Let's see if you haven't changed a bit too."

**Author's Note:**

> -breakdancing gently- this is the most romantic thing I've written in a while, so it's clunky as craaaaappppp, fuuuuuddddgggeeee.
> 
> A commission for a friend! I hope you like it, and that the wait didn't spoil it for you. =)
> 
> -Mandaree1


End file.
